Monday, April 26, 2010

I'm Yours

I was afraid. To hear this song again, to feel the things I had felt listening to it. If my iPod had a 'Least Played' list, this would be right at the top.
Wait. That's not right. I spent a month listening to it, dissecting it, trying to make sense of it. There is a science behind all of it. There has to be, doesn't it?
More than being afraid of the song itself, it was the irrational and unexplainable surge of emotion that seemed to bludgeon all your senses until you were ready to let the tears slip the constraints of your eyes. It wasn't sorrow and it wasn't happiness, it was just blank emotion (that in itself can not be true as it goes against the very definition of emotion). I wrote it down in my diary so that I could make sense of it in the light of day (my theory of day and night but that's another post altogether). In the morning, I forgot about it and it lay at the bottom of my side table drawer under piles of medicines, mementos, rocks (from camp) and various other otherwise random objects which were, and remain to this day, my most priceless possessions. It lay there to be untouched and unnoticed for weeks to pass.
As luck would have it, while rifling through my drawer in my signature scattered way, I chanced across this neglected little notebook, adorned with a beautiful yet strange white and black pattern. As I opened it, 2 years of thoughts and emotions hit me with a force that even the great Isaac Newton would have shied away from defining. I read the last post, the one of the song. I read it a second time. Then a third. Then I switched on my iPod, breathed in deeply and pressed play on that very song. It all came back to me. The whirlwind of emotions.
I scrawled a single word. The only word remaining in my otherwise numb and empty head (no wise cracks please!). "Madness".